Today's Bliss Formula: I am at the library and will be speaking to someone today about changing my per diem job. I'll stay a per diem, which I prefer, but I'll get a really regular schedule. YAY! for routines -- much better for my creative endeavors.
This weekend, I had a bit of an anxiety freakout. Over technology of all things. Internet problems -- and I'm sure I needn't say more!
Even though the problem was fairly serious -- I count on being online for a lot of work I do -- my freakout still seemed disproportionate. I mean, it made me cry, and I am not the crying sort.
So I knew there was more to it than the problem at hand. I knew it had to be coming from elsewhere.
I figured it out. If you've been reading this blog for a while, you know that I lost a very dear cat this past January after a long illness, and that that illness was preceded by the loss of another dear cat, who had also been ill.
All in all, I would say that we had been living with this stress -- caring for a sick loved one on a day to day basis, never knowing what each hour would bring -- for over two years.
Our bodies got used to living with all that adrenaline in our muscles, and as evidenced from my weekend, it became a habit that I now will have to work to get rid of.
I barely know where to begin. But I do. That's a story that I tell myself when I am feeling overwhelmed like I was this weekend -- that I don't know how to fix it, how to feel better. What a load!
Here are some things I know I have to do. And I have to do them every single day or close to it. I've written about this before -- that to feel better, to feel good is a choice in life, and it's a choice that is made from one hour, from one minute to the next.
1. Yoga. I've been telling myself that in the summer daily yoga is not only not necessary but not possible. There are so many things to do besides being inside doing yoga: gardening, sitting and watching birds, riding my bike. But there's no excuse. Yoga maintains both my physical and emotional balance. Period.
2. Music. In the summer, I often have all our windows open and so don't turn on music. I enjoy the silence and the birds and the wind. But music is so important to my sense of serenity. And with that...
3. Singing. Chanting. The vibrations this produces in your body is happy-inducing.
4. Journaling. With all the blogging and other writing, I'm not journaling. This one is big! To just pour stuff out, to dig deeper, to sit with my thoughts or the forming of thoughts for longer than fifteen minutes. To write something not for public consumption. Not only is this good for my mind, but it does end up helping to feed my other creativity.
5. Sitting. Not watching birds, but watching breath. Lighting a candle, setting an intention, and being very still. Summer can be all about speed and we need to be slower every day -- all year long.
So that's what I'll try to integrate into my days from now on. It's about paying attention. And after the last two years we've had, it's more important than ever.
If you have any other suggestions, I would certainly appreciate them.