Monday, March 30, 2009
InnerBliss: Nonviolence Starts Inside You
Listening to: How have I not found her before?
Bliss: Marcy is page 30 and 31 in this new, wee, delightful book on creativity and spirituality by this wise blogger.
You know how news shows will occasionally do a piece on some poor man or woman whose OCD is so severe that you can't even walk in the house? Or you can, but there are just these tiny, narrow passageways between stacks of newspapers and books and other objects piled all the way to the ceiling?
That is what my brain can feel like sometimes.
And it happened on Sunday.
You can imagine -- or you don't have to because you feel this way often -- that this is quite uncomfortable.
It feels like my brain will either implode or explode, but regardless, it won't be in one piece if another thing tries to get in...or move from its present location.
My anxiety increases and that leads to feelings of anger.
What is going on, you may be asking?
It is information overload, with a big, heaping spoon full of ego.
I start taking in too much media and I read books filled with too many overwhelming facts about the state of the world and then all it takes is one innocent blog entry or a few words from an innocent bystander and I am over my edge.
Freaking out that I can't save the world or change people or make it all better. (Remember what I said -- big, heaping spoon full of ego.)
This is hard to write about.
This past week, I felt like I got some sort of deeper understanding of all of this, and I am taking my use of time and space and my interactions with people more seriously, being more mindful since I discovered that I am definitely an introvert and lose energy easily.
But I am only in the beginning stages of understanding.
And it hit me that this is all about nonviolence.
Nonviolence really does start with how you treat yourself. Only when you can become peaceful and loving toward yourself can you begin to extend that to the world around you.
When I unconsciously take in too much media? I'm being mean to me.
When I don't give myself enough quiet time to process? Again, mean.
When I don't do the things that keep me centered and able to process? Yep. Ditto.
Think about the ways you are cruel to yourself and then think about how you take that out into the world with you.
What one thing could you work on to bring more peace to you?