Thursday, May 28, 2009
BlissQuest: Why Do We Resist Our Bliss?
Resistance is a topic that Marcy and I have been discussing since we met, but we have been especially concentrating on it as of late.
There are five of us in our writing group, as I have said before, and out of those five people, Marcy is probably the only one who is not blocked in some way. She creates freely and easily, thanks, we think, to habits of self-motivation developed very early on. We have also decided that she has no need of external validation; she derives her joy from the process and is not dependent upon any outcome.
She is, briefly stated, a minor miracle and a rarity: an open conduit for any and all creativity that wants to pass through her.
The rest of us in the writing group? Not so much.
We resist the very thing that we say we love: writing.
Everyday, I blog, sure, but I don't do the thing that I say I most want to be doing: work on writing books. I will, a day here and there, work on editing my novel or make notes for nonfiction projects.
And obviously, I am capable of doing this: I finished a five hundred page novel, for goodness sake, but I know that it took too long because of resistance, because of too many days spent not writing.
I have files and files and files of other novel and book ideas. The muse is very good to me, and how do I repay her? By not writing!
I walk past my new apple green desk and cast my eyes downward, ashamed at not sitting my butt in the chair and staring at the wall and getting down to business. (There is a lot of staring involved in writing.)
I have a pretty constant dialogue in my head about how I should be writing...and then I find some laundry to do or some blog-related work or...well...anything else.
The really awful thing? When I do write, I feel so connected, so amazing, so fulfilled, so...happy.
Though I may be writing about writing in this post, it is really about resisting your greatest desire -- or what you say is your greatest desire -- it is about resisting your bliss, whatever form that takes.
(This question about resisting our bliss came to me via Skribit and remember you can ask that blisschick covers any topic you like!).
Let me be candid: I have no answer.
It's a question I have been asking for much of my life. Why do humans resist the very things that make them happy? Why do I skip yoga -- ever? Why do I eat things that I know do not make me feel wonderful? Why do I not spend every waking moment making up stories when I know it makes me feel so alive?
Here are some questions for you:
What do you resist?
What do you tell yourself when you are in the act of resisting?
When you resist, what do you replace your blissful activity with? What are making your top priorities? Are your top priorities anywhere near your bliss?
How do you feel about yourself at the end of the day when you have resisted your bliss?
What stories are you constructing around your resistance?
The most important question of all: What purpose is your resistance serving? What are you getting out of this?
I want to hear from you. I will write about this more, but first, I want to hear what other people have to say about this. I want to hear your Resistance Stories.