Friday, July 24, 2009

enCouragingBliss: Loving & Reintegrating All of Our StuckChicks

I have found being compassionate to my old ways has helped tremendously in the morphing process. Not saying this is just who I am, but rather, this is who I believed I had to be. Now I can be something different.

-- A Comment to yesterday's post by Hmmbrd

When I read this comment, I knew Hmmbrd was onto something really important, and something that, I think, is a key "next step."

First, we identify all these Chicks that stand in the way of our essence, our BlissChick, our evolving, and then we show them compassion, as we would any annoying stranger who enters our "work space."

These StuckChicks (for want of a better moniker) are telling us something if only we would get still and listen.

These StuckChicks are cheerleaders, really, for all of our old wounds and unmet needs and just generally hurt and unloved parts.

Poor parts!

StuckChicks are not to be ignored or shut out. Oh, no, then they will just grow in their power, eventually taking over the office with all their passive-aggressiveness or repression or whatever psychological technique is the favorite of our minds.

My StuckChicks? They love to beat me up! Attack my self-esteem. Tell me that what I do does not matter and so why do I bother? Mean!

This is really a case of killing them with kindness.

We're going to tell them that we see them and that we understand them and then eventually we'll figure out what all their yelling or sabotaging is about and some day, in the not so distant future, we will realize that we have brought all our StuckChicks into the flow of our Bliss.

Let's start the process with a little fun!

I want you to pick your "favorite" stuck chick -- or even two or three of your favorites. You know, the ones that are taking up most of your precious time -- the ones that you feel the most intense negativity toward.

Then I want you to make a collage of some sort that represents her or them.

Include images that express who she is and how she manifests in your life.

But also include images of WHY she acts like this in your life.

Try to let this process be as intuitive as possible. Don't question. Just do. Think about her and see what she shows you.

The last step would be to make an altar area for her and then to spend some time with her. Meditate on her. Really listen.

Because somewhere in your past, she wasn't listened to at all and that is the core issue.

Hear her out.

She has needs and we're eventually going to meet them.

If you blog this, please come back and leave a link; we would all love to see what we all do for this exercise.

I may include my work in a blog post next week.

(Photo & Text Copyright: Christine C. Reed,, 2009)


Lisa said...

Oh. Yet another wise and perfectly relevant post, dear Christine!

At the moment, I have no idea where I'll go with this, but you've provided the springboard for the next 'right' step.

As always, much gratitude for your insight, bravery, encouragement, wisdom, honesty, and guidance.

karmacoy said...

What a fabulous idea! And it links in nicely with a collage I've been intending to make for several years surrounding my obssesion with time and measurement...

My stuck chicks include "Measuring Stick Chick" she's constantly judging how I measure up in comparison with others... and "I Don't Have Enough Time Chick". She's often in a rush and overwhelmed and can never find the time to take the steps to follow bliss.

Oh I'm excited about this, I can't wait to honour and faciltate healing to these aspects of myself!!

hmmbrd said...

I love this idea and will actually do it. The idea of collage work keeps coming my way, so i guess i'd best step into it.
I'm very honored to be quoted. thank you.

lucy said...

once again, yea blisschick! and you have chose to honor a wise bird...hummingbird, that is :-)

i, of course, love intuitive collage work. i haven't done one in just this process, but i think i shall have to carve out an hour or so over the next couple of days to dive in here. hmmmm...who shall i honor? bitchchick? resentfulchick? or maybe lonesomeloserchick? so many from which to choose!!

mommymystic said...

I like this theme of integrating stuckchick a lot, it's something I have been thinking about. I was recently reading a book called Feeding Your Demons, by Buddhist teacher Tsultrim Allione, and it is basically a modernized version of an ancient Tibetan technique called CHOD, in which you try to face, honor, and ultimately redirect the energies and patterns that in the past you believe have been the source of your suffering. I think it's so important to break out of the good/bad approach to the different aspects of ourselves.

Holly said...

Oh blisschick, this is soooooo helpful!! Ive never thought to see my "bad parts" in that way!!

And mummymystic, that book and technique sounds very interesting...i may have to get that book! :) x

Anonymous said...

I love this idea since I read your post on friday and I've been collecting magazine pictures all weekend. I can't wait to put it all togeter. thanks

megg said...

Oh, I love this - and it made me think a lot. In fact, a very big stuckchick popped immediately and uncomfortably into my head when you asked... I love it when the uncomfortable happens - it means we are on the right track. Thank you for showing me such clarity - off to collage a picture for her - if she will sit still long enough!!

Ty-Anna said...

This is a wonderful idea and I'm already freaking out, LOL but in a good way. Facing my stuckChicks (something I've never done and still not sure if I know what that is) is a problem I just continue convincing myself things will turn around but never "dealing"...I absolutely plan to do this!

Jennifer said...

I really love this! I've used it as a launchpad. The post isn't scheduled until tomorrow (July 27,2009) but you will find it here:

svasti said...

Been meaning to comment on this one for a little while. But there's so many different StuckChicks, I had to edit down my reply!!

I too, have an AngryChick....
Always just under the surface, sometimes bubbling over. For a long time I denied she existed, and was always unhappy when she showed up. Now, she's getting her head, but then she's also learning that there needs to be limits, and that anger is often about her own actions and expectations more than anything else.

ServiceChick - wants to help, be of service, do whatever she can to help others. She's a little repressed but absolutely wants to help, even if its giving someone directions on the street. She donates to charities, but she also feels a lot of guilt for not doing more!

LazyChick - if she never had to work or do anything she didn't want to do, she'd be soooo happy. As it is, she's responsible for me taking the occaisional sickie, spending too much time on the couch or just eating whatever's around instead of cooking something more nutritious.

LittleGirlChick - Appears in moments of vulnerability. Only comes out through my eyes and sometimes my voice. When she's around, I'm very easy to walk all over...

YogaChick(y) - just like my Twitter username (@yogachicky). She is the spiritual one, and prominent most of the time. She's the one that's led me on this stranger than fiction journey through all kinds of pagan experiences until I found yoga and my spiritual teacher, the things that work for me best. She loves meditating, she loves yoga and

AdventureChick - the one that loves travel, getting lost in strange cities,

NatureChick - Also known as HippieChick, she's the buck-naked, skinny dipping, tree hugging, camping, nymph spotting, waterfall loving gal. She braids her hair and wears long hippie skirts.

ShowgalChick - Majorly interested in glitter, sequins and performing, she's the one who turned me into a professional bellydancer, and had me dancing all over Sydney at all kinds of events. She's the one that, when performing at a women's festival with my dance troup and when one of my boobs fell out of my bra, simply acknowledged the crowd instead of feeling embarrassed, and was soundly applauded as a result.

As I said, there are more, but these ones were the most obvious!!