Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Twelve Results of Being True to Your Passion
Over the past many weeks, I must say...I am amazing myself!
I have now written and deleted just about three sentences trying to explain to you that I am not being conceited, and I am going to stop right there. Why do I feel compelled to do that?
It's true: I am amazing myself! (Now let it be, Christine!)
Something has shifted this year and it is beyond amazing and I am allowed to feel good about that.
I have worked my whole life to get to this point and I am going to own it and enjoy it.
What point have I gotten to, you ask? I am finally, finally, finally doing what I am meant to do.
I am dancing!
About fifteen years ago, I pretty much hung up my dancing shoes, and I started doing yoga, telling myself that it was a better movement model for aging. What? I was twenty five when I started saying this.
But two days ago, while doing a particularly wonderful dance workout, I had an epiphany.
I am not a yogi (though I will always do yoga and pursue its spiritual truths, don't get me wrong). I just mean that is no my primary identification.
Nope. I am a dancer! And I am yelling that loud and proud. My body loves dance. My body wants and needs dance. My body is dance.
It happened while I was lifting some small weights and warming up. I was supposed to then do a yoga routine. I could feel every fiber of my being resisting and I knew I could not face getting on that mat; I just wanted to dance. So that's what I did and then the epiphany came. Marcy came in and saw how my body was working and started to cry because she could see the epiphany.
Dance is my path, and for some reason...no, because of fear, fifteen years ago, I attempted to sublimate that into yoga. You can't do this. You must do what you were born to do.
I was born to write and to dance. Period.
Now, with this realization, I noticed some things about myself that have changed because of this doing what I was born to do. My body and heart had this epiphany weeks and weeks ago, of course, and my brain was just doing some catch-up.
I noticed some things that I think would apply to anyone. These are things that happen to your life when you admit and give in to your passion:
1. There is no not doing it. Resistance still exists. There are days when I internally whine about the sweating and the moving, but I do it anyway. And there is no doubt in my body that I will. My mind might be talkin' trash, but my body and heart know that it's full of crap.
2. As soon as I start dancing (as soon as you start "fill in the blank"), everything else just falls away. I am in the flow; I am the flow. There is nothing else. I am completely in the Now. There is no such thing as time or effort. My being and doing become one.
3. This joy permeates the rest of my life. It's as though I have finally met myself and with that comes this immense well of confidence.
4. I feel brave. Also from the confidence. I am a dancer, hear me roar.
5. I no longer have time for bullshit. I have stuff to do and it's important.
6. I no longer have time for negative people. I no longer have the need to be negative myself because I'm not hiding from myself so I'm not angry.
7. I am attracting a different sort of friendship into our lives now. Suddenly, we notice that there are all these people we know who are growers rather than destroyers.
8. I wake up energetic and ready to go.
9. As a friend of ours just said to us during a visit, "I feel like I am really living." Yep. Exactly.
10. Ravi Singh and Ana Brett like to say "feel like you can do one more...forever." That used to make me so freaking mad! But now, I get it. And I do feel like that. Whether with writing or dance, I feel like I can just go and go and go.
11. I am swimming in an ocean ideas and possibility.
12. Trusting that things will work out is coming so much more easily. Risk taking does not feel life threatening.
Now this may all sound like I am experiencing some sort of mania, except that I'm not, and how do I know this?
Because not only am I more myself but I am also still just myself. I am still a rather serious little animal with a tendency toward (cute, according to Marcy) grouchy-osity.
I am Me and More Me all at the same time.
What an adventure I have ahead of me!
How about you? What dream are you hiding from? You know the answer. It just popped into your head!
(Photo & Text Copyright: Christine C. Reed, blisschick.net, 2009)