Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Duh...It is in the Doing


Having been lucky enough to have rediscovered my core, my center, my essence in dance, and having been lucky enough to go to part one of YogaDance teacher training where I was seen, witnessed, and affirmed in that, I come home to an Old Me that is achingly transforming into the Real Me.

A very good friend of ours referred to my transformation as a "Transfiguration," and I love the body reference inside that word. I also love that it has a much more spiritual feel on the tongue and that it makes me think of the brilliance of the Sun.

Along with this high and mighty transfiguration, though, is the reality of one WhineyChick. One ResistantChick. One PainInMyAssChick, to put a fine point on it.

Take what happened this past Sunday as one small example.

I was sent home with homework to tackle in between our part one training and the part two to come at the beginning of December. This homework includes practice teaching. We were each given a CD of music that we will then use as our example teach in December.

Being the perfectionist I am, and knowing myself in terms of "performance," I knew I did not want to over-practice that CD. I don't even want to work on it until late November so that it feels "fresh" in December.

This means that for my initial practice teaches, I need to make my own music playlist. An hours worth of music.

No big, right?

Wrong!

Oh, the drama! The angst! The gut wrenching! The cries of "I can't do it! There's too much choice! Where do I start?"

Poor Marcy, you are thinking, and you are right.

She tried to help by compiling suggestions, but that wasn't right either.

Eventually, we found ourselves working together and succeeding in creating a truly masterful, seamless list. (We both LOVE music and know it well.)

We had so much fun. Of course we did. This is fun. This is my life's calling. This is my Heart's Deepest Love.

A lesson Marcy tried to tell me became so clear that day:

It is in the Doing that I find myself, that I remember myself, that I am myself.

It is in the Doing that it all makes sense.

It is in the Doing, after all, that we live.

(Photo & Text Copyright: Christine C. Reed, www.blisschick.net, 2009, Chair at Kripalu)

14 comments:

Kimberly said...

I just found your blog through a link on an email list. This post really resonates with me because just recently, through doing, I've discovered that I am an artist and that I need to do art. I agree, it's been absolutely revelatory and transfiguring and I feel like an entirely new world has opened before me.

Linda-Sama said...

"I come home to an Old Me"

I said the exact words when I got back into yoga.

congrats.

Linda-Sama said...

http://lindasyoga.blogspot.com/2009/10/visionary-art.html

I thought of you when I saw the third pic....:)

Sheila said...

Ahhhhhhhhhh...once again, Christine, I see and hear so much 'me' in reading 'you'! Today it's the 'perfectionist that I am' specifically that nails me. The perfectionis I am quite often paralyzes me from the actual doing and therefore robs me of the JOY of doing I find when I've actually gotten past the fear of failure or performance anxiety and around to the doing. Man, that BITES, big time when I find out in doing what I was missing. TIP for ya: when you find that joy and allow yourself to soak in it, it will actually pickle or preserve the freshness you desire for December and give it even better flavor. Hugs to you.

Jan said...

Christine, I am so glad you blasted through and beyond the reach of those voices. So glad you are listening, dancing, doing. You are oh so right. Caught up in mind chatter we sit and wait—for what? The perfect moment to appear? You are a warrior chick in the very best sense (in Shambhala sense :-) and I celebrate that in you. Blessings!

(I'm blasting through one of my own today--the quarterly newsletter that I keep putting off, promising and not delivering. Today I am going to be a warrior chick, too, and persevere because each of us needs to make a push now and then if we are going to create this world we keep hoping for....)

Heather Plett said...

I struggle a lot with that one too - overwhelming myself and then getting completely stuck because there are WAY TOO MANY DAMN CHOICES!

I read a great book called "the Paradox of Choice" that has alot of wisdom about how our culture has valued the cult of "too much abundance so that we are inundated with choice all day every frickin' day" (my paraphrase) to the point where we have paralyzed ourselves with it. He even equates the amount of depression in our culture with the fact that we have to make too many choices and don't have clearer boundaries and limitations.

You are wise to focus on the doing. In the end, there is no "wrong" choice if each choice you make is based on how that particular piece of music is driving your heart to where it needs to be.

TheChicGeek said...

Beautiful post and so true. The hardest part is starting...but once we begin, it is in the doing that it all just falls into place! I love the "transfiguration" too! It does seem bright and sunny, doesn't it?

Have a Happy Day!
Hugs :D
Kelly

Wild Roaming One (WRO) said...

In a conversation with Jamie Ridler this past summer, I refered to what you are, as "doingness" ...so I get it Christine.

WRO

svasti said...

In the doing, huh? ;P

Sounds like we're on similar discoveries at the moment. Or re-discoveries perhaps!

Sue said...

In the doing - ahhh, yes. I struggle too in this area. I logjam myself as a way of wheedling out of finishing whatever it is I have started. Sitting out on the mental verges of doing - aggh! It's like sitting in the middle of the highway. Then the doing ... ahhh.

Brooks Hall said...

I feel like I'm right there with you! I get it. I am doing... It's Karma Yoga: the yoga of action.

Brooks Hall said...

In a haiku:

It's in the Doing
That I might find a playful
Song that heals my heart.

olivosartstudio said...

beautiful post!ers: find I, like many other, are greateful for your expression of our growth: synchronisities!

Marcy sure does sound like an angel on earth!

love to you both!
Claudia

Jacqueline said...

Christine,
This YogaDance thing you are doing is so wonderful, and you are putting so much of yourself into it--when are you going to start teaching it?!? Make a retreat weekend of it and I will come to you!