Monday, October 26, 2009
Learning to Trust Process
One of the greatest lessons I am learning right now is how much it matters that you do what you were meant to do.
You say, "What!? Hasn't that been the point of Blisschick all along?"
Well, yes, it has been, but that doesn't mean I am any better at understanding it than anyone else.
I want to be clear here, though. I am learning this lesson on a whole new level.
Because, you see, until you do the thing you were meant to do, you can think you are getting it but you're not.
I love to write, yet it's not my Essential Self in the same way as Dancer, so with writing, it's always been about product.
Now I totally get what it means to love Process and not be that concerned at all with Product.
That doesn't mean that I am not still waking in the middle of the night and thinking to myself, "What the hell am I doing?"
It just means that now when I ask myself that, I respond, "Just be quiet. Trust. It's going to all work out as it's meant to."
And here's the real kicker: I believe myself.
Today, a Thomas Merton quote came into my Inbox that is perfect for where I have arrived:
"...today we are used to thinking that there are explanations for everything. But there is no explanation for most of what goes on in our own hearts, and we cannot account for it all. No use resorting to mental tranquilizers that even religious explanations sometimes offer. Faith must be deeper than that, rooted in the unknown and in the abyss of darkness that is the ground of our being. No use teasing the darkness to try to make answers grow out of it. But if we learn how to have a deep inner patience, things solve themselves, or God solves them if you prefer, but do not expect to see how. Just learn to wait, and do what you can and help other people." (From Merton, The Road to Joy)
And then shortly after reading that quote, I read this great post about simply doing what makes you feel strong and letting go of this silly idea that we can do, be good at everything.
And I breathe more deeply than I have ever breathed.
And I say thank you to the process.
I could spend days, weeks, years lamenting the fact that I ever stopped dancing to begin with, or I could trust that I have come to it in this way and at this time for a reason, and then just let it go and let it be.
If you gave into the thing you love the most, how would this change your relationship to the Process of Living?
(Photo & Text Copyright, Christine C. Reed, blisschick.net, 2009)