Tuesday, October 6, 2009

A Little Different Today Compared to Yesterday

The title of this post is my own personal Understatement of the Year.

Oh, the difference a day makes. Twenty four little hours...

I am sitting in the cafe again, having eaten dinner and waiting for the last teacher training session of the day at 7:30, and there is a pink and orange exploding sky over the mountains of the Berkshires.

My experience here started to change last night when we had our first "intro" session.

I walked into that room and what were they playing but "Everybody Dance Now!" by C & C Music Factory. Only my Favorite College Song Ever!

And proof that at least one of my fears was unwarranted: this would not be a week filled with foo-foo "yoga music" and drumming. Oh, no, these teachers were going to let us ROCK.

The music aside, my introvert buttons were pushed -- hard -- for the first 20 minutes. You know -- saying hello and all that crap. (Giggle)

I have taught enough to know how necessary those beginning exercises are, but I am usually the one inflicting the pain.

But then we started to move. And move I did.

I left that class SHINING. I remembered Why I Was Here. I remembered Who I Really Am.

I am taking good care of my introvert though. I find time to be alone. To do my other thing: write.

After last night, I was 90% sure I would be back for part two in December. After today, I am 110% sure that I will be back -- and more than just December. It leaves me breathless with a chest full of butterflies to think ahead, too, to February and the Spiritual Bellydance training.

Sigh. Sigh of the very best kind.

A follow up question for all of you: When was there a time when you forced yourself to do something, dreaded it, and then ended up loving it, transformed by it?

9 comments:

Sue said...

Yay! What a delightful post :)

When was the last time I dreaded something and then loved and was transformed by it? First thing this morning when I did my morning pages. And then, just before when I did a yoga session.

Now, I'm Blissed. Which is why I came here :)

So glad to hear the bubbly joy in your voice after yesterday. Yay you doing something so scary for your introvert!! :)

Wild Roaming One (WRO) said...

I am doing' the happy dance for you Christine! Awesome music, great class, and most importantly that you are SHINNING and KNOWING why you went. Freaking awesome...

to answer your question, i just did something that pushed my introvert buttons on sunday. it was worth it (isn't it always?), and everytime i do something like that, i know i can do it again, no matter what she is saying.

Rock on!
WRO xo

differenceayearmakes said...

Oh I remember such moments! I am so thrilled to watch your journey - I can feel your excitement - and I just smile in joy for you.

alisha said...

Oh, how wonderful. I do know that feeling.

I remember in college, I finally forced myself to take a ballet class. (I've always wanted to be a dancer.) And I dreaded it because I felt like I didn't have the right body for ballet. I played basketball and ran track...not a dancer's body.

But man, oh man, did I love it. Once I got past the insecurities of my body, I really enjoy the class. I loved moving. And the instructor loved my collar bones, so I guess my body wasn't all that bad :p

alisha said...

Oh, how wonderful. I do know that feeling.

I remember in college, I finally forced myself to take a ballet class. (I've always wanted to be a dancer.) And I dreaded it because I felt like I didn't have the right body for ballet. I played basketball and ran track...not a dancer's body.

But man, oh man, did I love it. Once I got past the insecurities of my body, I really enjoy the class. I loved moving. And the instructor loved my collar bones, so I guess my body wasn't all that bad :p

Jan said...

Christine,
Oh, I am so happy for you. I must admit, when I read the line you wrote about feeling yourself "shining," I got all teary. There is nothing that makes me more emotional than a woman allowing herself to shine, to be free and in her glory. So glad your body and heart are dancing.

Mine? The first major keynote I gave. The room had 350 women in it. I pulled upon every once of courage I had and I DID shine through, despite tons of inner wobbliness. I was forever changed and was confident, from that moment on, that I could do whatever needed to be done--and enjoy it!

Expressive Hart said...

What a difference a day makes, indeed, and a change in perspective! Absorb it all and let your shiney self dance away! I believe strongly in the value of having a time to totally immerse yourself into something. I'm remember a couple of summers at ADF (American Dance Festival at Duke) when I took four classes a day for six weeks. It compltely transformed me as a dancer not to mention many personal transformations. I know this experience will be so rich and powerful for you in so many ways! Rock on!

jelly said...

What a beautiful blog you have, I just love it.

When was the last time I dreaded something and then loved and was transformed by it?
My answer would be, when I came out to my family and friends. I was scared to death to tell people, I was afraid of the hurtful words, the guilt, the shame.

But, it was the most uplifting, freeing thing I have ever done in my life.
I don't regret the moment I said the words "I am gay" to my family, it was pure bliss.

:-)

Amy said...

OH, to be in your shoes! To be able to dance like that?! I wish you could be my belly dancing teacher. Or any dance teacher. I'm beginning to form a new dream of more and more dance in my life. I am not a trained dancer, but I don't think it's too late to dance as much as possible. I must think on this some more. You INSPIRE. Have a great week!