This week, my Inner Introvert needs some serious down time and rest, so I have the honor of presenting a series of guest bloggers writing about Unexpected Bliss.
Last but not least during this wonderful week of writing by wonderful women, I am proud to post the ponderings (excuse the alliterations) of the Gorgeous Goddess Leonie. You may recall, she was interviewed by me here. Here website and all her goodness can be found here.
Just like the swoops and curves of our journeys, bliss has its own way and time of appearing in our lives.
My love and I have always believed that no matter what happens, Great Spirit is guiding it, giving us whatever blessings and lessons we need at the time. Some days, our intuition speaks to us, telling us the movements that are about to be born into our lives. Other days, life is a beautiful mystery, giving us its own sensual unveiling in its soft, slow time.
I did think, however, that I would know immediately when a new soul decided to make its way into my womb. Being as sensitive to my body’s energies as I am, I thought for sure I would know when something new came through. In the first month of “trying” (but we didn’t call it trying - we called it WAHOO! NO CONTRACEPTIONS! THIS IS FUN!), I thought for sure I was pregnant. The way my hand rested softly over my belly, the presence of a new, soft, singing child spirit around me. And then the feeling left, and weeks later, my moontime came. We shrugged softly, and gave the experience to grace. All things, in their own perfect time.
The next month, when my moontime came, I asked my beloved when we should begin to worry. His answer, in that beautiful sage way of his was:
All in its own time... we don’t need to worry...
I went home and visited my family’s farm. We made a bush rock labyrinth in a field by a river. In the centre, we placed a large healing amethyst crystal. I bathed in the sea. When I returned, back to my love and our little cottage, I stopped eating wheat, sensing it didn’t help my sweet ovaries do their beautiful work. I received energy healings from my favourite healer, Hiro Boga. And we kept on living our beautiful, precious lives, with as much joy, gratitude, and grace as we could stand.
A month later, my love & I were eating vegetarian kebabs at our favourite table at our favourite place. And I was giggling, telling him my moontime was late, but I definitely, definitely wasn’t pregnant. I would have known if I was! And as we ate, I felt a bit nauseous, and I thought “Well isn’t that funny!” And I giggled again, and told my love that I was nauseous, but definitely, definitely wasn’t pregnant.
I will definitely know when I am pregnant! I don’t feel pregnant! I’m happy just to wait for my moontime to come again!
And he smiled, and his eyes crinkled around the edges, and there was a little light in his eyes.
That look was more telling than any pregnancy test.
Well my love... my guides told me a couple of weeks ago that we were going to expect a child soon... maybe it’s time for a pregnancy test.
And he took my breath away in that moment. We got a pregnancy test (“Just for fun!” I told myself! “I’ll know when I’m pregnant!”). And as I sat in the bathroom, two blue marks instantly appeared, as if by magic.
And tears swum to my eyes.
My child is coming... it really is coming...
And my love grinned and cried.
We are three months and one day pregnant today.
And like all the most beautiful lessons and blessings in our life... our child came through as my own unexpected bliss. In the seven weeks since that day eating kebabs, our child has already been my teacher: that sometimes we won’t know it all, and mostly, we don’t need to. That the greatest blisses are usually unexpected, and are carried by the winds of change, sitting softly on the wings of Great Spirit.
Great Spirit gives just what we need, just when we need it.
All in its own soft, sweet, sacred time.
(Photo copyright: Goddess Leonie Allan)