Thursday, November 12, 2009

Perfect & Infinite, We each Are

My particular bliss path of dance and writing excites me on a daily basis. Since I've returned to dance, I am never understimulated or without ideas. I am overflowing with ideas, actually, and I wish I had a few more hours in the day, though the thought of that also exhausts me!

Excitement and stimulation aside, I am also met with daily struggles.

Which is the point, right? I've said this a million times -- being a blisschick is about the daily choices we make and this is hard. Most people don't really want to take this kind of responsibility for their lives or they are stuck in self-defeating patterns that they are blind to or...well, there are a million reasons why most people don't see their lives as something they are in charge of.

Right now, my main struggles are centered around a lot of those "shoulds" that haunt most of us.

I think my body should be changing faster.

I think I should be dancing more hours a day than I do.

I think I should still be reading multiple books a week.

I think I should write in my paper journal a whole lot more.

I think I should be eating better, drinking more water, taking my vitamins.

This list could go on and on and it gets ridiculous with minutiae pretty quickly (as evidenced by "taking my vitamins").

None of this "should" thinking, though, fits in with the person I know I am when I am dancing. The person who is already right where she needs to be; the person who does enough; the person who is enough.

See...this is the main clue that dancing is my central thing -- the fact that I feel like the perfect and infinite being that I am while I am doing it. And yes, this feeling has started to leak out past the boundaries of those moments of dance, and I feel that way for more of my day than ever in my life.

How about you?

When in your life do you feel like the perfect and infinite being you are? What are you doing when that happens?

And please, none of this "we should feel this while we are just being; it shouldn't be reliant on some doing..." We are spiritual beings, yes, but we have physical form in order to have a physical experience of life.

It is through physical experience that we touch our spirits. It's simply how we are made.

I think we get stuck in this line of thinking about "just being," and we use it to denigrate ourselves, to judge ourselves. We get mired in it.

When really, we are made, built, meant to have fun, to experience happiness.

So, again, what are you doing when you feel utterly in your center?

(Photo and text copyright: Christine C. Reed,, 2009)


AnalieseMarie said...

What a beautiful meditation BlissChick! And exactly what I needed to read this morning, as I was getting caught up in my own "shoulds" as well.

I feel my perfect and infinite nature at work in a number of settings, but most vividly when I am drawing, writing, playing piano, or running. It is as if the physical body takes over and yet I am somehow even more connected to myself in these moments.

Linnea said...

Writing. Kundalini. Kitchen witchery. I feel so connected with my divine within when I do those things.

Try not to "should" on yourself, dear. We all have only so many hours in the day, and self-care is an important thing to schedule, too.

Christine Claire Reed said...

AnalieseMarie -- EXACTLY to that last sentence in your comment. :)

Linnea -- oh, yes, that damn self care!!! :)

Alisha said...

"I think we get stuck in this line of thinking about "just being," and we use it to denigrate ourselves, to judge ourselves. We get mired in it."

Yes, that exactly. I was thinking the exact same thing last night.

I feel most perfect when I'm writing, running, or playing an instrument.

Rowena said...

Finding Flow makes me feel perfectly connected with the universe, and that usually comes for me lately when I am deep in writing. Oh, I lie, I'm always getting tossed out of Flow by the needs of my kids.

I personally am struggling with the shoulding of my life. But I find when I let go of the shoulds and just do what is needed, next, and present, I feel better.

It's that urge to be perfect that is destructive to me. I just can't DO all that stuff I want to do, so I have to lower my standards for myself. I can't write 5k words a day. Sometimes I only make 500. I can't make my shop a full time venture... I'm already a full time stay at home mom and don't have the time.

I know I try not to tell myself "I Can't" all the time, but the truth is, sometimes those unlimited expectations are just setting me up to fail as I get totally overwhelmed. So sometimes I like to remember my boundaries. They make me feel more capable. And that makes me happier. And that makes me more productive, which actually broadens my boundaries.

Christine Claire Reed said...

Rowena, I think boundary setting is totally important. You ARE a stay at home mother, for goodness sake, and I think being realistic about what you CAN do is super important for your well being.

And maybe just that change in language -- from "can't" to "look what I CAN accomplish" -- maybe that tiny adjustment in perspective would be as helpful as getting rid of the "shouds." :)

Because I think (and I'm sure a lot of people would agree with me)...I think you and other women who do what you do are utterly amazing. The way you juggle the well being of your children and your own needs as an artist and the way you are honest about it -- that is truly inspiring.

Sheila said...

'only so many hours in a day' - yes, 'tis true, BUT...perfection, freedom come for me in those times where time ceases to exist. I lose all sense of it when I'm quilting, crafting, sewing, writing. I forget to eat, drink, even go to the bathroom sometimes. The miracle for me, sometimes I EVEN get there when I'm cleaning and I can't even believe it! A psychologist parent of one of my daughter's friends years ago explained to me there are two kinds of people - time/quantity oriented people and quality oriented people. The quality oriented person will take as much time as it takes at a given task, no matter how MUCH time that is. The quantity/time person slots/compartmentalizes specifically & stresses enormously if something exceeds their slot. I can only slot things I despise - that's what surprises me that I CAN slip into that perfect freedom cleaning! lol

bikramyogachick said...

Ah, I can totally relate because I feel that way when I am doing bikram yoga. In that hot room, dripping on my mat, I am enough.

Michelle Shopped said...

dancing totally opened me up years ago, i miss it and am slowly returning to it...movement of most kinds puts me in the zone, frees my mind so i can write, and connect...i like that african proverb, when you pray, move your feet...

Wild Roaming One (WRO) said...

you know, i feel as if i can't answer this comepletely right now. I am struggling to be everything to everyone...and all those responsibilities don't always centre me. so i think me time is probably my most centering time..but there's less of that than i'd like...

for now, i feel most centred when i'm doing yoga. no one asks of me during that time...i am totally engrossed in my body as it pushes and inverts and rolls the shoulders down, and breathes through the challenge of going to my edge. an edge still full of sanity mind you...which is quite different out of the studio.

This could turn into a post...