Thursday, January 14, 2010

Meditation, Movement, & Mayhem of the Mind

(Marcy shoveling our walk, sporting snow pants and a kitten eared hat!)

(Don't forget: There's still time to win a 6 month membership at Flock, the Soulcare Spa started by Magpie Girl. Just leave a comment on here by this Friday, 9 AM, New York time.)

At lunchtime today, I have a meeting with Some People about a Project. That's all I can say, and not because I'm being Super Secretive but because I'm not exactly sure what is going to happen -- if anything.

But I am being open and moving forward into the unknown and that's what matters -- that bit of faith in this life that I used to not possess.

I used to want to control everything, know everything in advance, and as a result, I wasn't having a whole lot of fun.

This is a Huge Learning.

It feels like this desire to control is a first impulse, but that's the dangerous illusion of it, isn't it?

This desire to control is a learned reaction. For whatever reason, a lot of us have learned not to trust the world, so we have programmed ourselves to push down our real, instinctive reactions to things, and on top of that we have layered all sorts of coping mechanisms.

To protect ourselves.

Here's the kicker: We are protecting ourselves, in most cases, from Dangers that existed in the past. Those dangers no longer threaten us, but it can feel like they do.

It's like our brain grew all these little Soldiers for a war that is no longer being waged. Those little Soldiers, though, still have their marching orders, and they are totally skittish.

Any sudden movement, any slight scent of trouble, and they are aiming at things!

How do you decommission these Soldiers, that's the question.

Retraining. Reintegrating. Perhaps a college degree or some sort of certification to put them on a new Path. Maybe a small business loan?

I am being both silly and very serious here.

The soldiers I am referring to, in psychological speak, would be the feeling of Hyper-vigilance that a lot of us live with and react out of.

It all feels so damn real, doesn't it? The danger, the reaction, the logic...

Yet it's just a Brain construction and it's keeping us from living our lives to their fullest potential.

For me, dance is key, but another of my tools to retrain these Soldiers is meditation in all sorts of forms. If you haven't checked out what Jan is doing with her 28 day meditation challenge, go here. Every day, she explores another piece of the meditation puzzle.

How are you retraining your Soldiers? Have you even met them yet? What are they like?


Boracay beach resort said...

Good luck on that. 6 month membership on a spa! I hope you made it on time.

House plans said...

Thanks for sharing your thoughts these life reflections are so true we can never have control over everything in our life, so as for me “come what may” just pray that God will guide me through everything that might came up.

onasilentsea said...

"We are protecting ourselves, in most cases, from Dangers that existed in the past. Those dangers no longer threaten us, but it can feel like they do."

Such truth.
Why am I fearing the present and the future when it has done nothing to harm me? Good questions; off to marinate on those!

Lori-Lyn said...

Oh how true this is.

Bethany said...

i love the perfectly lovely green snow pants!

oh, this is exactly what my therapist has been telling me/showing me. i love the way you wrote about it, said it so clearly, and truly. it's shocking almost, for me, to come upon this again and again, to see that i've lived my whole life in DEFENSE mode (those soldiers are a great image). Protecting myself from dangers that do not exist anymore.

not only is it hard to undo this, to make new paths, allow new experiences, it's hard to accept it, without some serious GRIEF, I think. There was no need for it, for all the stopping and heartache and fear. Coming to terms opens up this abyss or regret and grief that I am trying not to fall into.

as always, thanks for your thoughts.
and hope your meeting went well today.

svasti said...

Interesting post! Not long ago on the Writing to Survive blog, I commented on a post and the following is part of my comment:

...I often think it's our spectres that do the fighting; we're sitting in a corner of our own mind, afraid of the terrors they trail along the ground like bottles rolling against concrete - such a racket! And they take over, fighting about things that no longer matter. But they'll fight until entirely exorcised.

And that is our task, both for ourselves and those we love; helping to recognise when our ghosts make themselves known and do what we can to change the game...

Of course, I've had to retrain some very intense little soldiers in recent years. PTSD expands your army massively.

And it's been therapy, yoga, meditation, writing and spending time in nature. These things have helped de-commission the ranks (for the most part). :)

donna said...

Great post! As part of my new year's resolutions, I have to keep telling myself I need to "put myself out there." Whenever I start to feel shy or nervous about embarrassing myself, I have to remind myself that I won't be making any progress without the risks. Anyway, thanks for such words of wisdom!

Sandy said...

Marcy looks so cute shoveling.
Just wanted to drop by and say hi. Love the new look. Love the new insights. How did your Thursday 'project' luncheon go? Hope to see you again in 2010.
hugs, sandy

Anonymous said...

In the midst of a kundalini awakening I became aware of what seemed to be presences in my field....they were hard to see or know were there....what I learned was that these things fed off of negative energy and kept me in a negative posture. Lower entities. The ONLY way I was able to deal with them was to realize I had little power to do so; surrender was the path as well as praying to my higher self for protection and healing. This is a like attracts like situation....and yes these are attracted to the vibe of the unresolved from the past but they also keep me locked in the present in a way that is unnecessary. Clearing blockages in the energy field, mind and heart are important steps forward IMHO. Also being able to resolve old hurts, traumas, etc., helps greatly....which I have found is possible through forgiveness (ourselves and others). These soldiers are old postures but these beings can help to keep the posture going forever if we let them.

Qi Gong helped with unblocking and release of stuff. Being very honest with myself about what I was feeling and how I could reach a better place. Perhaps this all sounds like crazy talk but I think once you go along the path far enough and tings have a way of rearing their heads.

Sharmila said...

BlissChick -I adore your site! And this post is just so right on! I was thinking this lately how I wish I could find the balance in the control area. It does feel like just how you said! I'm going to save these notes and think on this! Thanks so much! What a blessing you are on this journey ;) I look forward to returning here more often! ~Sharmila /Jen