Monday, February 8, 2010

Rediscovering Yoga

(We call photos like this "Senior Portraits." The posing!)

I've written very honestly about the fact that once I found dance again, yoga just started to totally bore me. Recently, I had a breakthrough with yoga that reminds me how everything changes. (I'm a bit on the slow side so I have to keep learning these same lessons over and over.)

I was on my mat doing some kundalini yoga. My favorite, as you may know. And it hit me, "This is what I do. I move."

That means nothing to you, but it meant the world to me and was a huge "ah-ha" moment.

It was my body finally getting the message to my brain that everything is dance. All movement is a form of dance.

Movement becomes dance when it is married to consciousness. When you are consciously moving, you are dancing.

I had gotten into a rut with yoga, and so when I stepped on the mat, I lost consciousness. I was just going through the routine. Yoga had become a "should." Yoga was just one more thing to cross off my to-do list, and thus it was good that I just stopped for a while. I put away my mat and the DVD's.

Being dramatic as I tend to be (cough), I thought, "That's it. No more yoga for me. EVER AGAIN!"

Luckily, my DivaChick didn't know what she was talking about. Luckily, I was made to do yoga again at my YogaDance teacher training. And luckily, yes, I said LUCKILY, I put it back on my list of shoulds.

What?! You read that right. Sometimes it's okay to push ourselves, it's okay to make ourselves do something we don't think we want to do. Because lots of times, those shoulds end up being good for us in ways we can't imagine. Sometimes those shoulds turn right into our wants.

Ravi Singh said it best on one of the DVDs I was doing a couple of days ago, "No test, no progress." I love his play on that old and awful "no pain, no gain." Ravi got it right.

Sometimes we have to push because lots of times...we're lazy. I know I can be and being honest about that is just the kick in the ass I need.


Rachel said...

See to me, all movement is yoga - everything is yoga.

But that doesn't mean I need a break from my mat now and then. I took a few days off last week and it actually felt AWESOME!!

Lists of shoulds are a good thing, as long as we don't define ourselves by them.

svasti said...

Love the Toby piccie!

So glad too, that you've "made up" with yoga. Heehee!

Elize said...

yes, yes, yes!! what a lovely dance definition, "when movement is married to consciousness"
LOVED this post, you inspire me so much!

wholly jeanne said...

i know those "aha!" moments - the ones followed closely by "well, duh". when your body and brain work together.

Eco Yogini said...

i practiced to music yesterday, not always something i do, and i thought of you... in that all of a sudden i felt like i was 'dancing' with my yoga. it was FUN and at that moment i loved the movement. :)


differenceayearmakes said...

When I was regularly practicing yoga I used to find that when I took a break from it I would return with the moves having more poingnancy and my body moving more fluidly.

Ahhhh, my LazyChick - so good at finding other "more important" things or very legimate sounding rationalizations.

Thank you for sharing your journey so honestly, it helps tremendously to enlighten my own journey.

Ketzirah (Carly) said...

That's what a practice is all about. Sometimes things really don't work for us anymore, but if we only did what we wanted -- nothing would get done in the world.

My daily prayer practice doesn't move me every day -- but it's a practice. It's not about whether I "want" to or not. It's what I should do.

Namaste_Heather said...

I have a difficult time meditating because of the sitting still aspect of it. But sitting and gently moving while warming up feels like a moving meditation to me. It feels wonderful, and I am out of my mind and fully into my body. Great post! Love it!

Shelley said...

Dance up a storm!

belladawn said...

I found when I do exercise (dance)-yoga before and after (stretching) is great!

Jeanne Klaver said...

According to Patanjali, yoga is connection with Spirit. Once we realize there is no separation, just that awareness is all the "practice" we need. If your JOY is dancing, then that is your yoga practice.