Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Tweeting My Way to Self Understanding
(Marcy in the woods at the writing cabin.)
On Monday morning, I was on twitter and I mentioned the fact that I was having Monday Morning CrankyChick Syndrome. Marcy works late on Mondays at the library and so she is home for the first part of the day and then leaves. This throws both of us off in a variety of ways, even though it has been like this for many years.
Anyway, in response to my Cranky tweet, Birkan Tore (an incredibly sweet intuitive out of Amsterdam) responded with: *throws fairy dust from a safe distance*
Which just made me burst into giggles. Deep tummy giggles that sent some sort of healing vibration throughout my body, I think, because I felt a lot better instantly.
Beyond that, his words made a bunch of vague thoughts and feelings snap into place, and I understood instantly that I have been way out of balance for some time now, and further I understood what the imbalance was about and what has to be done.
All from a little tweet!
Since I have rediscovered dance as my primary path in this life, I have also discovered that it is my primary spiritual path. It is a path that acts much like a strand of DNA -- winding in and out of itself, it includes and blends all of the parts that make up the larger Me. All of them -- this body and this heart and this mind and this spirit and this microcosm and this macrocosm -- it all meets in and melds together in Dance.
A little bit of background: I have always been a "religious" sort of person besides a "spiritual" person. (Sometimes these terms make me want to choke but I have to express this in language or we won't be having a discussion.) Anyway, the religious part of me is very liberation theology Catholic, and specifically, I have a devotion to Mary (very specifically in this form), the last remnant of feminine divinity in all of Western religion.
Since I have been dancing, I have barely paid any attention to her and this has been gnawing at the back of my brain for some time. I don't like this.
But I also understand that things -- all things -- wax and wane. Up and down. In and out. Dark nights and bright days. You know.
Back to dance: I accepted that it is not just my material existence that is fulfilled through dancing but also my spiritual and so I began to relax a bit about the lack of Mary thing. I know it is there, always, deep within me, and that outer expression changes and morphs over time.
But...here is the big but! (giggle)...My dancing life has been morphing into almost exclusively the Mundane. I focus on getting in shape, increasing my flexibility, learning steps for ballroom, finding people to teach.
I love all of that. All of that is Good Stuff.
But my Spirit needs to be tended to, also, and that is what Birkan Tore's fairy dust reminded me of: I need the Sacred along with the Mundane. Again, like that DNA strand, they have to wind in and out of each other or I am not Me.
I am in need of Wonder and Awe and Magic in this life. I am in need of Sparkle -- and I don't mean just shiny, pretty things (thought I do need those) but that kind of Sparkle that I met during my near death experience.
I haven't figured out the details yet, but identifying the problem is half the battle, right?
Besides, Lent starts next week. What better time to be evaluating all of this!?
(Heather, over at Fumbling for Words, is also dealing with some balance issues. For another take on this, go here.)