Friday, February 26, 2010

Walking Your Bliss Path Sometimes Means Walking Away

(Daydreaming of summertime lake and sky...)

This past year has been full of learning about myself. Really, the things I've learned probably look so basic from the outside that one might wonder if I had ever met myself.

One thing I have come to discover -- or recover or uncover -- is my nature as an Introvert. Coming to know this part of myself and coming to accept it has greatly impacted the quality of my life. I no longer judge my need for downtime. I understand why conversations about trivial matters annoy the hell out of me. I now know how and where I get energy and how and where I lose it.

Which brings me to making really hard choices about how I use my time.

Now that I have come back to dance, I spend a lot more time around other people, but this does not suck away my energy like it normally would, and that's because I'm not around people talking and asking and talking some more. We are dancing. There is music. There are steps to focus on. All of this increases my energy, and for some time now, it has been impacting my level of creativity in other genres as well. The more I dance, for example, the more I find myself writing.

The more I dance, the more book ideas keep flying at me so fast I need a butterfly net to catch them.

I have found that my time has become precious in a new way. I don't have time any more to need time to come down from social interactions. Did you get that sentence? I need that time to dance and to write.

Looking at my life, I have known for some weeks that I have to make some cuts. This has been super difficult for me to admit and for me to make decisions around.

Wait. I just lied.

It has been super difficult to admit, that is true, but I lied when I said it was hard to make the decisions that needed to be made. That part was really easy.

My Dancing Life comes first. Period. It is only second in relation to Marcy and our little family.

What was really hard was telling some very dear people that this or that was being cut. Who wants to disappoint people they care about?

But I did it. I said what I needed to say. I stayed true to my Passion and Purpose, to this Bliss Path. It was not easy, but I did it.

(Our good friend, Christiana, also just wrote about the difficulty of walking her bliss path.)


Debra She Who Seeks said...

I'm an introvert too and know exactly what you mean. We have to insist on the space we need and set those boundaries, even if it's hard for extroverts to understand. They always take it personally at first, even though that's not what it's all about. Good for you!

onasilentsea said...

I can so relate to this post. The more I run, I feel less compelled to lock myself in a room for two days. But what that means is spending a little less time with my husband. Hopefully he now realizes that the time we do spen together now has more quality.

Anonymous said...

Way to go! So many women struggle with letting things go, disappointing others, and being true to themselves - so I know how truly brave and powerful this is of you.

I've had to do it too (over the last few years I'm been vicious about cutting things), and now that I'm putting so much effort into Limitless Living I'm having to be even more judicious. It's hard, but OH so freeing...

BTW, my favorite part of this whole post was when you said you know where you get your energy and where you lose it - love that! (But the book ideas is a close second - that happens to me too when I meditate!)


Susan said...

You go, Christine! I so appreciate the way you are able to identify and communicate the steps you are taking each day to live your bliss!

Heather Plett said...

These are lessons I keep relearning too. Two years ago I cut out almost every volunteer position I was involved in (oh how easy it is to get sucked in when people realize you have the skill for something), and said that I would focus on three things only: my family, my career/calling, and myself. I got a lot better at saying no and recognizing when I needed to sacrifice something else in order to focus on my priorities.

Have you read the poem "The Journey" by Mary Oliver? Swirly Girl just linked to it on Twitter, and I was blown away by what good timing it was for me (considering my word for the year). I think it's applicable for you too...

Jenny Stamos Kovacs said...

I love this, Christine.
I'm an introvert, too, and tend to leave gatherings early because i'm exhausted, then stay up for hours reading or working on my computer.
i love what you said about dance--how you don't have to be alone to do something that re-energizes you.
perhaps that's something that other introverts like me can find, too.

Laura Hegfield said...

I tend toward solitude too...but then when I do go out, I pretty much always enjoy myself...and then I'm alone again and forget how much fun it was to be around people other than my family...but only in small doses.(LoL)

Jeanne Klaver said...

I'm so amazed that every time I read your blog, I find myself. Just last week I had to admit that I'm an introvert. I do a lot of things in the outside world and find myself retreating into my hidey-hole to recover. I'm not trying to become a recluse, but I'm soooo tired of some of the things I'm doing that are energy vampires. As I simplify by letting go of those things that aren't right for me, I'm amazed at how easy it is to let go of more. I'm getting there and I thank you for your posts. I'm never alone, am I?

Susanne said...

Another wonderful post, Christine. But I have to admit that I sat here reading this while holding my breath, convinced you were going to tell us (gently, sweetly) that you didn't have time for us anymore. And while I would understand and even support that, I was also frantically whispering oh please oh please don't stop blogging don't stop blogging I'll be real quiet and won't bother you but just don't stop sharing this blog with us . . . LOL! Now you go dance!

Amelia said...

gosh I totally agree. I am learning this year that doing work that I don't like depletes my energy like nobodies business, but when I work doing what I love it totally energises me!

It is great that you can honour this in you. Good luck.


Ellen said...

Hello from a fellow introvert. It's just in the last few years that I've really become aware of how 'introvert' is seen as a real negative by many people. I think it's a personality style, with no real moral value attached. It's not bad, it's not good, it just is. I might personally feel more comfortable with introverts, but that's just my preference. Others have different preferences (well, they do, in fact, lots prefer an extroverted style it seems).

Interesting that you no longer need 'down' time. I need a ton of down time myself, and would love to need less.