Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Bloated & Uncomfortable: Having Too Many Ideas and Not Knowing What's Next
(Lilly in the window. All that snow outside is now gone.)
The other day I wrote about feeling weird. Weird was the best word I could come up. (Yep, an undergraduate and graduate degree in English and look at my giant vocabulary! Sometimes my dexterity with language impresses even me...ha.)
I have experienced an immense amount of (good) change in the past nine months, and now I am feeling off balance, like I have not completely adjusted to that change. Yet a couple of other things are going on here, and Heather Plett hit the nail on the head in the comments when she compared it to that momentary let-down feeling that can happen after a literal birthing.
First, I am off balance. It's going to take time to adjust to this Me that I am right now. She is radically new. She is happy. And that is weird, frankly.
Second, I am in that speck of let-down stage that happens after any birth. I have created this new life for myself and...now what?
Third, and here's the biggie, there is more birth around the corner. I can feel it, and because I've gone back to my dance/dreams journaling, I see it now in pen and ink.
I am Pregnant with Ideas.
I have ideas for classes, ideas for workshops, ideas for books, ideas for choreography, ideas for playlists, ideas for marketing, ideas for this blog.
I am Bloated, for goodness sake! I am in danger of Popping! (As we would say about the Mini Cat, Toby, after he eats a big bowl of meat.)
I have somehow created a metaphor here that I do not know how to get out of. I could say something about gas or relief or even enemas, but I won't.
How about patience? Yes. Patience is the antidote to all this weird. And patience is not something I ever got any kind of degree in...