Monday, March 22, 2010

Holding Ourselves Accountable to Our Dreams

When I was in yogadance training, I was really, super good about writing in my movement journal every day. It was part of our in-between-training-weeks homework, and I felt obligated to those sheets of paper from our teacher, Megha.

In order to try to replicate that feeling of obligation, I created my own "homework" sheet that hangs on the refrigerator, but like most reminder notes, I rarely "see" it any more. It's just part of the refrigerator door landscape now.

But this journal writing thing was important. I've always journaled but not in this particular, focused way. This movement journal, this Dancer Journal, kept me accountable to my dream. Every day, I tracked the steps I was taking on my path. I reminded myself what was important. I recorded quotes. I brainstormed ideas. I worked through rough spots.

"The secret to life," said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is -- it must be something you cannot possibly do." (Found via Gala Darling)

My Dancer Journal was part of helping me to live and breathe dance every minute of every day; it helped me bring everything to dance, as Henry Moore says we must.

Before you start with the whole "but there isn't one thing...I love so many things..." let me also share that I just listened to this phone call about finding our internal essence and then finding the path we are to walk externally.

It taught me that my essence is Expression. I am fully myself when I am expressing myself through dance but also through writing in a variety of genres and chanting and teaching. So, see? It's not the picking of one definitive thing (though I think there is much merit to that in terms of becoming excellent), but rather, it's more about understanding what you must do all the time to be You. I must Express.

This thing is also not necessarily what you are doing or will do to pay the bills. It's your obsession, though, the thing you can't stop thinking about, the thing you are willing to do anything for.

I love the part about it being something impossible. This seems true to me. It is about daring yourself to be the biggest and most courageous version of you that you can be.

As the White Queen says to Alice, "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

I am 41. I dance. I will dance more. I have choreography in my head, performances to create, people to teach. The world would tell me, "that's impossible -- you're too old."

But I'm going to side with Henry Moore and The White Queen, and I'm going to remind myself every day in my journal that I am accountable to this dream that has been planted in my heart by the mysterious and beautiful power of the Universe.

What dream holds you accountable? What dream keeps knocking at the door to your heart?

(NOTE: Again, if you can't see the comments, simply click on the title of this post. You will then have access. I apologize for any inconvenience; I am awaiting a response from blogger.)


The Other Laura said...

You always inspire me! Thanks.

suZen said...

First of all, I am a journal writing junkie, so I do applaud your writing in one. I've done daily morning journal writing for 40 years! And you think YOU are old? Nahhhh. Keep dancing kiddo! I just reviewed a book today on my blog - it is "What do I do with the Second half of my life?" People like me in my 60's create whole new careers and lives. Don't use the word "old", don't let that old person in!

Ellie said...

What a truly inspiring post Bliss! I love it, and such a timely reminder to me not to give up on my dream(s). I'm 40 as well, and I find myself sometimes falling into the I'm too old syndrome, thank you for reminding me that I'm not.

Debbie said...

Gotta love the White Queen! Your posts just shine since you started yogadance training. It is clear that you are where you should be. Namaste.

claire said...

I love your dream. Thank you for being a midwife to some of ours :-)

Patti said...

I'm so glad I found your blog. I haven't posted any comments until today, but I've been reading along! Your posts are very uplifting and inspiring... we should all hold ourselves accountable for our dreams. Finding our niche in life, which includes finding true joy, can be a tough process... unless we open our hearts and minds to the possibilities and run with them before something gets in the way.

Personally, I find my peace in yoga and surfing. My life was not as joyful without these things, and now I cannot imagine NOT surfing or practicing yoga. They both clear my mind and 'ground' me again... and they're both fabulous for my health, which is more important to me as I grow a little older.