Monday, March 22, 2010
Holding Ourselves Accountable to Our Dreams
When I was in yogadance training, I was really, super good about writing in my movement journal every day. It was part of our in-between-training-weeks homework, and I felt obligated to those sheets of paper from our teacher, Megha.
In order to try to replicate that feeling of obligation, I created my own "homework" sheet that hangs on the refrigerator, but like most reminder notes, I rarely "see" it any more. It's just part of the refrigerator door landscape now.
But this journal writing thing was important. I've always journaled but not in this particular, focused way. This movement journal, this Dancer Journal, kept me accountable to my dream. Every day, I tracked the steps I was taking on my path. I reminded myself what was important. I recorded quotes. I brainstormed ideas. I worked through rough spots.
"The secret to life," said sculptor Henry Moore to poet Donald Hall, "is to have a task, something you devote your entire life to, something you bring everything to, every minute of the day for your whole life. And the most important thing is -- it must be something you cannot possibly do." (Found via Gala Darling)
My Dancer Journal was part of helping me to live and breathe dance every minute of every day; it helped me bring everything to dance, as Henry Moore says we must.
Before you start with the whole "but there isn't one thing...I love so many things..." let me also share that I just listened to this phone call about finding our internal essence and then finding the path we are to walk externally.
It taught me that my essence is Expression. I am fully myself when I am expressing myself through dance but also through writing in a variety of genres and chanting and teaching. So, see? It's not the picking of one definitive thing (though I think there is much merit to that in terms of becoming excellent), but rather, it's more about understanding what you must do all the time to be You. I must Express.
This thing is also not necessarily what you are doing or will do to pay the bills. It's your obsession, though, the thing you can't stop thinking about, the thing you are willing to do anything for.
I love the part about it being something impossible. This seems true to me. It is about daring yourself to be the biggest and most courageous version of you that you can be.
As the White Queen says to Alice, "Why, sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."
I am 41. I dance. I will dance more. I have choreography in my head, performances to create, people to teach. The world would tell me, "that's impossible -- you're too old."
But I'm going to side with Henry Moore and The White Queen, and I'm going to remind myself every day in my journal that I am accountable to this dream that has been planted in my heart by the mysterious and beautiful power of the Universe.
What dream holds you accountable? What dream keeps knocking at the door to your heart?
(NOTE: Again, if you can't see the comments, simply click on the title of this post. You will then have access. I apologize for any inconvenience; I am awaiting a response from blogger.)