Monday, April 12, 2010
To Car or Not To Car
(A scented narcissus that is one of my favorites in our front yard)
On Friday, I wrote about how much living my bliss has been changing every part of my life from big to small.
Dancing has brought me back to my center, the essence of who I am. Depression and anxiety no longer hold me in their cold and deadly grip. This is not to say that I am forever released from the possibility of their return, but now I have an awareness of their ways and the tools to banish them that I never had before.
It is still an every single day set of choices that brings me to happiness and joy and peace and purpose and passion.
Dancing has changed my relationship to my body -- how I feel about it, how I utilize it, how I energize it, how I fuel it.
Those are some of the big things that have changed and that continue to change as I learn to navigate through these calmer, bluer, warmer waters.
Onto a smaller thing which really isn't that small, not really, but it is minuscule when compared to overcoming debilitating depression.
To Car or Not To Car...that has been the most recent question. I got a lot of wonderful feedback to this perplexing issue. Truly helpful stuff out there. On this blog, in emails, in person. We are surrounded by thoughtful, caring people who are capable of some excellent critical thinking.
I want to thank everyone for contributing to the dialogue.
We have our decision.
On Saturday, I had this amazing and eye opening discussion with a wonderful woman. I currently teach one day out of her yoga studio, but this is going to change. This yoga studio is very close to home. Close enough to walk in really bad weather.
And now that I know how much she and I are on the same page about a multitude of exciting things, I feel relaxed about the car issue.
I know we don't need it.
I know the money would be better used toward more training so that I might grow as a dancer and instructor. Someday, I hope the money will be better used toward opening a new and bigger studio.
These are the kinds of choices I am talking about here all the time.
Most of us cannot "have it all." A lot of us don't even want what "have it all" means.
The main thing I want in this life is to be able to do the thing that brings me not just happiness but deep and abiding peace and sanity.
For that, I am willing to sacrifice what is essentially, for us, an issue of convenience. For now. Sometimes the same decisions need to be made day after day, month after month, year after year...