Tuesday, June 22, 2010
Changes (and Cue the David Bowie...)
Photo: Toby and Lilly, ages 9 months and 2 years, best friends.
(Oh, I think time has been really wonderful to this man.)
I am emotionally and physically exhausted from our last couple of weeks and the subsequent transitioning of Scottie cat from fur to Sparkle Suit.
As I have learned from taking care of two other elder cats during their transitions, the process is so hard but so worth it -- and it clarifies things. This process teaches me the same things over and over -- that love is It, that there is no Fear, for two examples, but it also teaches me something new each time.
I am still sorting out what Scottie was teaching me.
Right now, this soon after the fact, I am contemplating some big/medium/small changes.
First and most trivial in nature (drum roll), I have finally freaking decided to Chop. Off. All. My. Hair. It gets in the way; it clogs every drain in this house; it is HOT. I am overly identified with my ballerina-like bun. Here is what I am going to have done. I can't wait!
Second, I have not been tweeting at my usual frequency during all of this. I am having a hard time even contemplating getting back into twitter, and each time I visit, I feel like an alien -- or it feels alien, whichever. It feels...wrong.
The Geek in me is disturbed by these feelings and having a hard time translating them, but my heart tells me to just let it go. I communicate with people via email and blog and facebook so much anyway.
Third, I just ordered one of these, and not to be some Organizer Nazi but for really totally different and bizarre reasons. Reasons I'm not ready to share. But if it works, I will force myself to face the fear and share because I think it could be seriously helpful to lots of people. (Does that sound dramatic enough?)
A lot of my changes have to do with the context of number three now that I think about it.
Fourth, I have to spend time having more fun. I tend to be a Serious Animal, as Marcy would say. This is tiring. I think it's why I often feel drained. I never take or give myself a break.
For now, this is all I am able to articulate about necessary changes and lessons learned.
(POSTSCRIPT: I didn't include this and should have. Gala Darling wrote a great post about her new filofax here, and though I won't be using it exactly the way she does, it opened up a gate in my mind and led to my new idea...that I may share later, as I have already said.)