Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Changes (and Cue the David Bowie...)

Photo: Toby and Lilly, ages 9 months and 2 years, best friends.

(Oh, I think time has been really wonderful to this man.)

I am emotionally and physically exhausted from our last couple of weeks and the subsequent transitioning of Scottie cat from fur to Sparkle Suit.

As I have learned from taking care of two other elder cats during their transitions, the process is so hard but so worth it -- and it clarifies things.  This process teaches me the same things over and over -- that love is It, that there is no Fear, for two examples, but it also teaches me something new each time.

I am still sorting out what Scottie was teaching me.

Right now, this soon after the fact, I am contemplating some big/medium/small changes.

First and most trivial in nature (drum roll), I have finally freaking decided to Chop. Off. All. My. Hair.  It gets in the way; it clogs every drain in this house; it is HOT.  I am overly identified with my ballerina-like bun.  Here is what I am going to have done.  I can't wait!

Second, I have not been tweeting at my usual frequency during all of this.  I am having a hard time even contemplating getting back into twitter, and each time I visit, I feel like an alien -- or it feels alien, whichever.  It feels...wrong.

The Geek in me is disturbed by these feelings and having a hard time translating them, but my heart tells me to just let it go.  I communicate with people via email and blog and facebook so much anyway.

Third, I just ordered one of these, and not to be some Organizer Nazi but for really totally different and bizarre reasons.  Reasons I'm not ready to share.  But if it works, I will force myself to face the fear and share because I think it could be seriously helpful to lots of people.  (Does that sound dramatic enough?)

A lot of my changes have to do with the context of number three now that I think about it.

Fourth, I have to spend time having more fun.  I tend to be a Serious Animal, as Marcy would say.  This is tiring.  I think it's why I often feel drained.  I never take or give myself a break.

For now, this is all I am able to articulate about necessary changes and lessons learned.

(POSTSCRIPT:  I didn't include this and should have.  Gala Darling wrote a great post about her new filofax here, and though I won't be using it exactly the way she does, it opened up a gate in my mind and led to my new idea...that I may share later, as I have already said.)


svasti said...

Looks like the Fresh Cats are doing a good job of assisting in the healing process. Nice one, Lily and Tobes!

Did you know that in certain parts of the world, cutting the hair is traditional at the passing of a loved one? (I think it will look awesome!)

Don't worry about tweeting. It comes and goes for me, too. If you feel like it, you'll get back into it. When the time is right.

I'm looking forward to hearing all about your changes. :)

Eco Yogini said...

i hear you about the twitter thing. it does feel weird. and i am also a geek :)

Yay new hair cut!!! I'm sure it will look beautiful.

Also, I would not be able to live without my (paper) agenda.

Lisa said...

Rock on with your changing~healing~evolving self!

Linnea said...

As I told you, I'm having the same issues with Twitter. When I attempt it, it feels forced most of the time. It's a good vehicle for me to keep up with local goings-on, but I talk to everyone else via email and facebook (or blog; mostly theirs, occasionally mine, hee).

I buy the red Moleskine planners every year. They're all named "Molly" and have a number after them according to what model year they are.

I can't wait to hear about your changes (and see your hair!).

Heather Plett said...

1. It seems like Twitter is going through a low energy phase lately. I don't know if it's just because several of my favourite Tweeters are not as active or if there's something else going on, but I haven't been as engaged in it as much lately either.

2. You've inspired me with the organizer. I used to have one that became a treasured friend (that I used in a very different way than the "executive" model), but then I switched to an electronic organizer (for a while - it never totally suited me) and when that failed, I didn't go back. I think I need to revisit it.

Christine Claire Reed said...

I'll add this to the post, but...

Heather, I did a disservice to Gala Darling, who was the inspiration for my new use of an organizer. I'll link to it in the post, so check back.