Friday, September 24, 2010
This morning as I sat and sipped some espresso, checking my email and wondering what the heck I was going to write here, I heard a lot of bird anger coming from our back yard. Finally, the yelling penetrated the part of my brain that was awake and reminded me to get outside...there is probably a hawk nearby.
There was. I stood out back, looking toward the tree from which most of the raucous was emanating, and sure enough, a big, beautiful Red Tail swooped down and out of that tree and headed South. He was too fast, and by the time I ran to the front yard, he was gone.
I've written about Red Tails here before. They are one of my life Totems.
The picture above is not from this morning but from earlier this summer, during a walk in the city cemetery. The blurry nature of it seemed fitting to my mood.
Red Tails are often hanging about to remind us that we need to see farther. Wider. Bigger. They are also associated with balance and kundalini energy.
The balance part of their message has never stood out to me before, but it's exactly what I am in need of.
Right now, in many places on these interwebs, there is a lot of discussion about balance as a bad thing. I understand this but I think people are mistaken in some of the ways they define balance. These writers often assert that balance means a life without passion because it means always being calm -- like that British poster "Keep Calm & Carry On."
Balance, though, just means knowing what is right for you and keeping your priorities straight at all times.
I am a highly emotional sort of person, lots of Big Passion in this animal. But in order not to self-immolate with all of this internal fire, I need soothing waters in my life. I need down time. I need time to process.
Right now, I teach something somewhere seven days a week. Too much fire.
I do not dance enough because I am tired from teaching. Too little water.
Ironically, I am teaching a college composition class around the theme of digital media and our relationship to it. And I feel like my relationship to this whole online world has a lot to do with my imbalance, but I am a bit afraid of what it means to admit that.
So enter Hawk.
What is his message exactly? Am I ready and willing to hear?