Thursday, January 20, 2011

Assuming Love

Giant Citrus with Bunny Sticker: Who Could Resist?
Who knows what makes things click in our minds?

One of the main things I am working on lately is understanding Love.  I've written about my insecurities in this area, about my core abandonment fears in past posts. And I've recently written about how it can take a very long time to rewire the brain, so to speak.

My idea of Love is that it is conditional, fragile, easily broken, and not to be completely trusted, and thus my tendency to hold back parts of myself.

As I become more and more conscious of these thoughts, I can see that all of these fears drive me to spend much of my time looking at, inspecting Love, waiting for something to "happen."  This is draining, to say the least, and it means I have little energy for my Real Work.

I wonder how true this is for a large number of people?

I have so many books in me to write, so many pieces to choreograph, so many workshops to develop, but I spend most of my energy questioning and worrying about some very basic things about my life.

I was reading a blog post recently in which the writer mentioned spending their week being completely absorbed by some difficult theological texts, and like I said at the top of the post, who knows what makes things click in our minds, but this idea of being absorbed brought light to some dark spaces inside me.

Specifically it struck me: People who assume love is strong and stable can get on with other things.

Ray of lights and angels singing!

This Assumption of Love is a foundation upon which they are able to build their lives, their work, their creativity. They can take risks in all other parts of themselves because Love is never questioned.

My assignment for myself for a long time to come is to review each morning, first thing, this Assuming Love.

I will Assume Love in a few ways: I assume the love of Marcy and our little family; I assume the love of friends; I assume the love of God and all that is Infinite.

What would Assuming Love do for your life?  Can you even imagine!?

3 comments:

lorilyn said...

Yes.
This is beautiful.
(And, I have to say, I LOVE what is going on on that wall back there!)

Ruby said...

This resonates with me, in fact, it almost takes my breath away.

Anonymous said...

Thank you so much. You describe so well the things that I am also working on and realizing. - Loyal Butterfly