Tuesday, February 1, 2011

PerfectSpiritualChick is Not Welcome Here

Something I am thinking a lot about: there are as many ways as there are humans to have Giant Egos.

A popular Giant Ego right now that is masquerading as Advanced Spirituality: I am in control of everything. How I feel has absolutely everything to do with me.  If I perceive someone else as grouchy, a pain in the ass, etc., it is really me. I am completely in charge of my life experience.

Okay. Some of that seems okay on the surface.

But it also gets awfully close to Blame the Victim.

Sometimes shit happens outside of you and it affects you.  Yes, how you respond is up to you, but emotions like grief, anger, hurt, pain are all part of the human spectrum of experience, and if you don't feel those shadows, I am afraid of you.

If you try to eradicate those shadows at every turn, I am afraid of you.

No light without dark is true.

This is not Heaven or Nirvana...not yet...and we are here to experience all of it and sometimes, some things just suck.  Sometimes some people are just behaving badly.  Sometimes it is not our job to fix it.

Feeling okay about all of your feelings -- that is true compassion for the self.

This is me giving all of us permission to get our PissedChick on -- or our AngerChick or our GrouchyChick or whatever chick just happens to show up.

PerfectSpiritualChick?  She, on the other hand, is, like, so NOT welcome.


Linnea said...

PerfectSpiritualChick was the final nail in the coffin of my Major Depressive Disorder. Spirituality, which is supposed to be (in the main) uplifting, was making me miserable. I felt as if I were being bullied from every direction, not realizing the main bully was me. Boy, did I become PissedChick (and DepressedChick) then.

Now, I'm trying to relearn what I had to teach my best friend years ago: it's OK to be angry. We were given anger as an emotion for a reason, and it's not sinful. It's not sinful to be sad when you feel sad. Sometimes you have to be with the yuck without allowing yourself to permanently dwell there.

Excellent post, C.

Scraps said...

Right on!

In looking for my path or whatever you want to call it, I kept coming up against the idea that everything was always supposed to be calm and gentle and loving--because nature is always those thing, right? But, no! Nature is sometime harsh, life is sometimes a thunderstorm instead of a sprinkle. Anger is a part of life, it can be part of spirit, too.

Lori-Lyn said...

I've noticed that whenever I begin to talk about what's going on with me and the person I'm talking to suggests that other people are my mirrors, etc., I get angry. Reading this, I realized that my anger was stemming from 1. Feeling like the person making this suggestion is trying to one-up me spiritually or bully me in a "spiritual" way. 2. My own understanding that nothing is ever that simple and 3. Feeling like I wasn't really being heard. If someone is responding to me with a pat answer, then I don't feel like they're actually listening to me.
So thank you for this post. I agree with you and I'm glad to have a little more clarity.

Christine Claire Reed said...

Lori-Lyn, thank you for the comment, because, I, too, get angry at that mirror thing that people say. There can be some truth to it but it is also more complicated (and sometimes simpler) than the way they mean it.

Anyway, YOU helped me to gain clarity on why it affects me that way. Thank you.

erin said...

DANG! If that wasn't what the doctor ordered. Lovely post