Friday, February 18, 2011
Post Workshop Blahs
We are having a warm(ish) spell here in Erie. The Groundhog declared Early Spring and, and lo' and behold, the grass is showing for the first time in months. In the above photo, you can see what a yard looks like when a couple feet of snow melt in two days time. Tired. And we will head back into more seasonal (aka "winter") temperatures tomorrow.
That's okay. This sudden change not only made the lawn tired, but all the people around me have been complaining of the same thing. It's just too fast. We need adjustment periods.
And so I am in the Week After an Amazing/Life Changing Workshop.
Like that lawn, I'm looking and feeling pretty worn out. It was too fast to absorb so much.
I come back every single time with crazy, high, unrealistic expectations.
Like, that I will just keep up the schedule I had at the workshop. Or I will dive deeper than ever into creative projects the minute I get home.
Every time, I fall for this. Every time, I am disappointed and feel the self blame games starting.
I am lazy. I don't want this enough. You know...all the Hairy Little Demons that I normally keep at bay have a field day when I am this tired, this overwhelmed.
The most frustrating part for me, though, is how damn good I feel when I am at workshops. I was moving -- and I mean MOVING -- five, six, nine hours a day. And I had not an ounce of pain. I was muscle sore in the evenings but in that really good way.
I come home and my lower back pain starts up immediately and now it is super bad. I am stiff. I am creaky.
I am Crabby.
This is why people get a little...addicted to workshops and are constantly saving for the next one. But I want to figure this out. I want to bring that home with me. I want to be my workshop self all the freaking time.
((whine whine whine))