Wednesday, February 2, 2011

UnRule Your World

Rules are getting on my nerves (and maybe this is a continuation of yesterday's PissedChick Rant but maybe not).

So many rules about everything: what we wear; where we shop; what we eat; what we do; how we do it; what we say; how we perceive; what words we use; where we live; what is age appropriate; how we age (oh...another post right there).

We make these rules out of some desire to feel or be perceived as "good."  Or should I say, "better."  Better than ourselves yesterday or last year.  Better than our parents.  Better than that ass we work with.  Better than that stupid (insert political party or religious affiliation here).

These Rules then support the Illusion that We are In Control.  That we have things figured out.  We are ahead of the game. We don't have to think anymore; we can just consult our little Rule Book.

We don't have to feel or intuit or listen to our bodies!  We have our Rules!

Phew.  Thank God that is all done.

But here is the Danger of Rules: they cover up/replace/bury/stifle/drown/suffocate/murder/silence Longing.

Rules think they are better than Longing.  Smarter.  More savvy.

Longing comes from our deepest selves.  That unknowable place we sometimes call Heart or Soul, and Longing can be messy.

So we put Rule Tape over its mouth.

Here is the Danger of Longing: A) You may get what you long for or B) You may not.  Either way, your heart will be split open in the process.

Rules don't split open your heart so much as shrivel it.  The process is long and barely discernible, but look around and I bet you can see the results.

Can you identify, right now, without too much thinking, where your Heart is Aching as you read this?

Can I double dog dare you to dream your biggest dreams?  To truly live in the moment and risk being brand new in every minute, rules be damned?


Grace said...

Moving post! Well said Bliss Chick. Let's begin today by living with fewer rules (wait, is that a rule in itself?) Oh well.

Christine Claire Reed said...

There are two rules: First, there are no set in stone rules; and Second, we follow our intuitions, our gut, our longings...always.


daphnepurpus said...

Thank you for both this post and yesterdays (especially those, but in fact I really enjoy your blog and your Facebook pages). I was raised in a very perfectionistic fear-driven (those are the same, really, I'm learning) heavily ruled environment and I was the "good girl" to the point that now, at age 65, I am just starting to learn who the real me is and to listen to my intuitions and my gut. It is hard some days and definitely tricky at times, but as you say, the heart shrivels under rules and I don't want a shriveled heart! Again, thanks for saying it all so wonderfully!

Jacqueline said...

daphne--wow! perfectionism=fear. That is blowing my mind! It is only recently, in my 40s, that I realized that many of the "fears" I have been carrying around are not mine at all, but really my (step)father's. And his perfectionism goes right along with that. So enlightening, and one realizes how much time and energy have been wasted. Christine, loving your posts even more lately. Keep 'em coming!