|Painting by Heather Plett|
I have always felt judged by other women. No matter my size at any point in my life, there were woman telling me I was either too heavy or too thin. No matter my hair color, there have been women who think it's their obligation to point out my mistake.
For every man who might have complimented me, there were women waiting in line to cut me down.
We are a catty crew.
We are raised to see each other as competition. We are raised to believe we are never good enough and not nearly as good as that one over there.
We are raised that beauty is our only measure but that we will never, ever measure up.
A mother, a sister, an aunt, a school teacher, the woman at the counter, our culture, a "friend."
Someone, somewhere has taught us our lessons well.
And so we have become blinded by this measuring stick that is stuck in our eyes. This pointy stick of perfection.
We walk around thinking we are seeing each other but we are only seeing all our own self-loathing, all our desperate wanting, all our own unfulfilled desires, our own feelings of invisibility.
We treat each other based upon these blinded visions.
We see only parts stuck together rather than whole people.
We do no look past our disgust over her fat because we are afraid we could be just like that or that we are already; we do not look past her "perfect body" because we can't see that she is suffering deeply and only desires love.
We see only parts.
We do not see because we do not look for we are so afraid of having that look be returned. We are so afraid of our own vulnerability, our own naked cravings, and to really see someone, to truly witness another is to automatically be witnessed ourselves. And that feels way too scary.
We see only parts.
Heather Plett at Sophia Leadership is asking an important question to celebrate the 100th anniversary of International Women's Day.
How can women change the world and
how can we change the world for women?
This is how:
We can witness each other for the uniquely beautiful expressions of the Infinite Divine that each of us is.
We can see the Whole Woman and her Heart rather than just her stomach or her ass or her hair.
We can tell her that her beauty shines from her like the sun.
We can care for one another as we have never been cared for.
We can stop cutting each other down, looking for deficiencies with eyes like butchers.
We can stop searching for imperfect parts and start seeing the Perfect Whole.
Here's a new game you can play every time you see another woman: Witness Her Beauty.
(It's not too late to have your say; go here and you can link your own answer post to Heather's question.)