Rules, even the silly, seemingly simple variety that I wrote about yesterday, are about control. We think if we have enough rules...or rules to cover everything...we can avoid surprises. We can avoid pain. We can control our lives with rules! YAY, RULES!
Rules, of course, just make for more pain because they hold us back from expressing our true nature.
Our true nature, no matter who we are, is about strength, beauty, freedom, love, and happiness.
Rules just squash all of those things.
Rules are Formalized Fear.
As I also mentioned yesterday, I am on High Alert for Rules. I am Paying Attention and Kicking Rules to the Curb.
So I thought what might help is to name and list rules for myself and perhaps you could join in and name your own. The idea is that saying them out loud diminishes their power. The main thing that rules really HATE is Being Made Fun Of.
Also, I recommend spending some time asking yourself where you got the rule? Is it even yours? Most of my rules come from my childhood and a set of very fearful parents who saw danger around every corner.
Some of mine are silly but others are quite serious and it's taking a bit of courage to reveal them. I am working hard on the more toxic rules even as I write this.
NOTE: I DO NOT FOLLOW most of these rules, but they rule my MIND, and I judge myself by their standards. Our house, for example, is rarely in company-ready mode and thus I am a pig.
- If there is a single grey cloud in the sky, there is the possibility of Death by Lightening. So STAY INSIDE.
- Weather is personal and usually dangerous.
- Food made by other people is likely disgusting. Or dirty.
- If your partner has friends, they are probably cheating.
- Only people who work in the medical field are a) smart and b) doing work that matters.
- You should never tell anyone your darkest secrets. Keep everything hidden at all costs.
- If a couple does not fight, they have no "passion."
- You should always be saving for the next bigger/better car/house/etc.
- Your house should always be "Company Ready" or you are a pig.
- If you take naps, you are lazy.
- If someone states a "fact," they better know their source.
- If someone says something wrong, they should always be corrected.
- Do not cry in public.
- Do not show too much affection in public. It makes everyone uncomfortable.
- Do not show too much enthusiasm in public. Stay calm.
- Do not show too little enthusiasm when receiving a gift. Put on a show of your gratitude.
- Do not ask for help; it shows weakness, and besides, most people are not helpful anyway in that they are not bright enough or strong enough or whatever enough.
- At all times, know where your loved ones are and what they are doing.
- Fear for your safety when in a car, in a plane, walking, sitting, lying down, standing, eating, drinking, running, playing, relaxing...
- If you have ants (or any bugs) in your house, you are dirty.
- If you recline at all, you are lazy.
- Water is to be feared, especially oceans and rivers.
- Always check the back seat of the car before getting in; mass murderers love to hang out there.
- The woods are filled with scary people carrying chainsaws.
- Beds must have hospital corners and be made before you get in to sleep.
- There can be no plastic containers on the dinner table.
- A lawn must be edged.
- A car should always be clean, inside and out.
- If you can't be the biggest and best in your field, why bother?