Tuesday, July 12, 2011

How Things Change Suddenly After So Long...

I was recently asked if, when I started to dance again at the age of 40, if it was a process or if I just dove right in and never stopped.

The short answer: I dove right in. I started dancing at that wedding and I danced the next day and the next and have pretty much not stopped since.  Two years later.

The long answer: By the time I went to that wedding and stood up and danced and was basically born again, by that time? I had spent almost 40 long years doing all the ground work.

I had spent 15 years with a loving partner dissecting every inch of my story until I understood where I had come from and what I had been through and how I could possibly now move on and be happy.

I had spent most of those 15 years studying every form of self-help known to bookstore loving woman.

I had spent most of those 15 years doing yoga, taking vitamins, walking around and around and around, thinking, processing, writing in my journal.

I had spent some of those years paralyzed by grief, barely able to leave the house.

I had spent far too many of those years stuck in my own stink.

So yes, I was born again in about three minutes but it took too many damn decades to get to that "suddenly."

Here's what I would like to hear from you:

What are you waiting for?!


Rowena said...

I understand this. When I make a painting or a book, people ask me, "how long did it take" and I could give the short answer of the very time I was sitting down with the piece of work in my hand, but the truth is I've been working on that piece forever. A fifteen minute blog entry is made of 25 years of intense journal writing, 30 years of reading, 20 years of studying literature and the last 10 years of the internet.

Sometimes it feels like nothing we do is made only of what we just did, but instead is just the latest step in the process of living and creating.

And there's still more to go. This journey is not over.

Shawnee said...

Why such a philosophical question...I'm waiting for everything to be perfect. It's ridiculous isn't it? But I can't let go of the need to feel in control.

Happy Dancing!

Simple Single Mom said...

A profound question with a profound answer. There are so many things that we do in life that take years to build up to. Wonderful post.