Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Is Your "Healthy" a Disguise for Control?

Within about 9 months, I dropped about 4 sizes and I have continued since then to get fitter...*

(*I tell this story so I can get to a specific and important punchline...)

When I say this, women's eyes light up and they wait for the Big Secret. They assume a Big Secret.  Or some Magic Trick.

There wasn't one.  Well, there was, but it's not some rule to follow of some fruit to eat or some vinegar to drink or any of that.  It's not about what you put in your body at all.

It's about love.

Self love. Body love. Acceptance. Joy. The whole bundle of what unconditional love really means.

This is much harder than just saying "I will give up this, this, and this, and then POOF! all my body dreams will come true!"

That is not love; that is control.

As someone who has long suffered from disordered eating and body image disorders, I know a thing or two about control and what happened to me when I started dancing two years ago (almost to the day) was about the opposite of control.

It was about love.

As soon as I started to dance seriously again, I loved my life. I learned over time to admire my body and its abilities and then I learned to love her and see her beauty. This was huge.

Are you truly loving your body or are you still trying to control your body, using "healthy" as a disguise?


Suzie Ridler said...

I think eating disorders in general are about control and we disguise them as an issue of "health". Portia de Rossi writes about this in great detail in her autobiography which I found very heating. I try to live a healthy life boosting all the good stuff and indulging a little in the bad. Moderation is key. I try not to put restrictions when it comes to food because if I do, it sets me off a control freak binge all over again.

Great post! I loved and loved seeing the dancer is you come out.

Melita said...

beautifully written & so true! we need to love & accept ourselves just as we are right now. love!!

Brenda said...

I too had an eating disorder. Traces of it sometimes still appear within my head and heart. Mostly I am happy with my new body. It is not so much that it is new but that I am seeing it with new eyes. (I often wonder to myself,"Is that tall, fit person in the yoga class mirror really me?") I think it was easier to focus on a body that was somehow terribly just not right than to consider the real messages I was getting while growing up... that it was really me who was just not acceptable most of the time.

Christine Claire Reed said...

Yep, Suzie, control and control, of course, is about fear.

Thank you, Melita!

Brenda, I TOTALLY understand that mirror thing. Sometimes when I see myself teaching dance...I think, what!? WHO IS THAT!?!?! It's those moments when we get tiny glimpses of what other people see!

sui said...

I love this post. Like, LOVE it.

Reminds me of a good way to respond to the awkward compliment of "You lost weight!" as if it IS a compliment...