Friday, July 1, 2011

The Lies that Underlie the Fear of Happy

When I am in motion like that, there is no fear; there is only the essential happy me.

And then I slow down or sit still...

And the voices of the gremlins start chattering away in my brain.

As I wrote about yesterday, I am working right now with the fear of never being enough, which is a fear based on a lie -- we are always just enough right now.

Another fear that is poking at me is this fear that if I totally relax into my current happy (which is BIG) then something bad will blind side me because I am not paying attention.

This fear is based on a cluster of lies.

Lie Number One:  Happiness is not our natural state. Quite the contrary, we are built to be happiness itself, and by happy, I don't mean some manic HIGH. By happy, I mean contentment and peace within ourselves. Happy as in knowing exactly who we are (Universe wrapped in skin) and feeling our real power (to create our lives).

Lie Number Two: The Universe/God/Divinity is cruel. Do you see that in my fear? If I am happy, there is this sense that I will be punished for it.

Lie Number Three: I do not deserve to be totally happy. This is a big one. It is tied into the issue of being enough. It is about our sense of unworthiness. That we are not "good." That we barely deserve to be here, much less to have happy or wonderful in our lives.

Lie Number Four: There are monsters waiting around every corner and you must be vigilant. The truth is there are only monsters where we see them. They are not actually there. We make them appear with our fears.

Now...when I am totally present in my body, none of this is in my mind or heart. Because when you are totally present in the body, you are totally present. Right here. Right now. And in that place, there are no monsters, there are no fears, there are none of these lies.

The solution to this does not reside in the mind. You cannot "un-think" yourself to happiness. As Gabrielle Roth says, you are not going to think yourself out of a problem that is created by the mind to begin with.

What lies and monsters does your mind generate when you give it primacy in your life?


brija said...

The monster in my mind tells me that I'm not a real person, not like all the other people with jobs and cars and families. It also likes to tell me that it's my fault for any bad feelings I get and on days when I feel ok it tells me that I make up the bad feelings on other days. Sustained happiness sometimes seems as tough as the bad times, sometimes it's a case of better the devil you know.

LSL said...

Oh, my. If I am happy, something bad will happen to someone I love. Not sure where I got this message/fear, but it lurks around in my life.

LSL said...

One message/fear I have lurking around is that if I am happy, someone I love will have something bad happen to them. Not sure where it came from.

Tess Giles Marshall said...

Oh yes, those monsters in our minds. For me, it's what you wrote about yesterday, the fear of not being enough - a sense of shame.
This is such a great post, thank you. As always.

Anonymous said...

I really like this post. Deserving it, Feeling like the Universe will punish me and that it has evil intentions, and staying vigilant of the "BAD" ever damn minute of the day is exactly how I feel! I continuously get in my own way of my Happiness and you just explained in an ealisy, detailed & understandable way, THANK-YOU! I have taken your words and changed them to mine, I reinforced them with a positive perception and I now have my positive afirmations to hopefully change my negative thought patterns! WOOHOO! Thanks!