Thursday, July 21, 2011

My Apologies & My Love to You

(I don't usually dance in a long skirt, but I was leading a special drum/Afro-Caribbean dance night and so I got a lovely elephant skirt to wear. I am in the purple top.  Then there were other lovely skirts and Marcy got some wonderful blurry dancing skirt shots, so I thought I would share.)

Oh, wow, do I have a lot on my mind.

You know, if you read here with any regularity, that I am very passionate about having overcome depression, anxiety, and a whole host of craptastic brain issues without the aid of pharmaceuticals.  I also am passionate about the intentionality of pharmaceutical companies in their efforts to pathologize human nature and get more and more of us on unnecessary drugs.

When I write about this issue, I try to be veryVERY clear that there are cases when drugs are helpful and furthermore, necessary for survival.

But recently a couple of things have brought to my attention the pain that this type of polarization is bringing to people.

Our approach to medicine has never been more polarized.  At one end, we have the extreme of television commercials aimed at patients to convince them to be their own doctors, and at the other end, we have a "natural" community that thinks you're lazy/stupid/ignorant/bad if you can't go out, pick some weeds, and heal yourself.

The result of this type of either/or, black/white, extreme thinking is that it puts well-meaning, good human beings in the middle and it squishes them.

For example, I have a dear friend who just made a really smart and long thought out decision about some medicines.  She did the RIGHT THING, but she felt guilty for it.  And she feels judged.  She is a wonderful human being full of love and she should neither feel guilty nor judged by other people who have no idea what she has been through.

Another example from recently: Marcy read one of my posts about love being the cure, and she is the one who taught me that love is the cure.  But she is also smarter than me when it comes to love and she pointed a couple of things out to me.

First, Love is the Cure when it is good, nurturing, unconditional love and how many people have that?!  How many people even know what that looks like, much less where to find it.  This makes me so sad.  It makes me sadder to think I have made anyone feel badly about this lack of unconditional, helpful love in their lives.

Second, she pointed out that sometimes loving someone into a cure includes medication, because that is where there are at and unconditional love is loving people where they are.  Period.

In an ideal world, I would like to take all the people in pain and put them in love houses like they are doing in Finland. I would like to surround people with that kind of healing love and show them that it is through relationship that we heal each other and are healed.

That is the ideal world.  In which we do not live.

For now, I will extend my apologies to anyone whom I may have hurt in previous discussions of this material, and I will extend love to you all.

You are loved.

You are made of love.

You are worthy of love.

May you find and know deep, unconditional, nurturing, God-like love in this lifetime and beyond.  May you give that love to others.


Anonymous said...

I am one of those people without unconditional love, but I've been fully aware of it my whole life and am constantly being reminded so it's not something I can avoid. But it does make dealing with my issues way more difficult than the majority of people who usually have support and love. I know I would've found answers long before now with it. Instead I've done my best to work around it.

I love hearing about your relationship though. Especially how Marcy helps you figure things out. Everyone should have something so special as what you and Marcy have.

svasti said...

I know what you mean. I did it without meds, too. But that doesn't mean I think everyone should do it like that.

In fact, if I had to go through it again (goddess forbid!) I might even consider taking some meds for a little while. While I was going through the worst of it all. It might've saved my nervous system from being completely overloaded. Who knows?

What works for each of us is different, and that's because who we are and what we're going through is all different. There's no "the only way" when it comes to healing.

That said, yes. Love. The right kind. It's what we all desperately need. I'm still praying for some of that for myself. ;)

Anonymous said...

I have been managing my Bipolar II depression without medication. It has required awareness, and attention to those things which help, support and nurture my body and spirit. I believe for the most part I am doing well, however, as I descend into a depressive cycle, and struggle, it is guilt and a sense of shame and also failure that arises when I start considering medication as a temporary support during this time. It is confusing and distressing, especially when one is feeling vulnerable. It is helpful to have acknowledged that there is a middle path, and that it is what is right for each individual which is important. It is so easy to become caught in the extremes, and I know that I wrestle with this often.
My thanks to you for this post, and to Marcy for sharing her insights

Emma said...

Thank you for this post!