|At the lake on a VERY windy day!|
(To read more about the many ways that that article is misleading and quite horrible beyond the title, go here and here.)
That is how sick we are in this culture, that we can write a title like that, but what does one expect from a magazine whose existence is predicated on the thesis that you are not happy with any aspect of your life? But wait! "They" have the answers and it all has to do with being thin and finding the right man and wearing sexy jeans.
Hurray for answers!
We are very messed up about love in this culture, in general. We think it's okay, for example, that people who "love" us, treat us badly. We don't see anything wrong with the way some parents abuse their children and we tell the adult child, "they loved you as best they could." No, actually, they didn't.
Let's stop using the word love in such filthy ways, shall we?
If you need a brush up course on what unconditional love actually looks like in action, read this book. Like, right now.
For this post, let's focus on the body stuff, 'kay?
Unconditionally loving your body, as the author of that piece does not seem to understand, has two parts -- like the sides of a ladder.
She was trying to climb a ladder that was missing one side and that is always dangerous and well, stupid.
She understood that one side of the ladder was made up of "Acceptance," but she was missing the other side, "Care."
This is the magical formula:
Unconditional Love for Your Body = Acceptance + CARE
You cannot just take care of the body, either, because if you are not accepting, then "care" becomes as twisted as our twisted versions of what masquerades for "love" in these parts.
"Care" becomes that woman on the elliptical who has that dead look in her eyes (you know you've seen her) and the only light in them comes from the calorie counter in her head.
"Care" becomes the dude who thinks if his shoulders only get an inch bigger, he can finally have the life he always dreamed of.
"Care" becomes hording, vomiting, binging, lying, obsessing, hurting.
But if we accept our bodies as in this love equation, then care becomes feeding nutritious foods with that occasional yummy treat.
Care becomes dancing til you sweat buckets and fall over in a tumble of giggles -- from good tired and not from exhaustion.
Care becomes taking risks that push you past your comfort zones but are still safe and kind.
Care and acceptance.
Acceptance and care.
If you don't have both, you don't know what love is.
And that is what will kill you.
Because love is always good. Love is always the cure.