|Steps up to the studio/Graffiti will stay!|
I am very uncomfortable right now.
Yesterday, we got some things from a helpful and generous friend for the studio. We loaded up the car and headed home, where I proceeded to lift something quite heavy.
I am strong, for sure, but that does not mean I am built for heavy lifting (yes, I do it "correctly"). Also, as Marcy is constantly reminding me, I make my art and my livelihood with this body; it is my instrument and I must take better care.
I torqued my lower back a bit. I am okay; it will be fine. I am sore today but this is not the discomfort of which I am really speaking.
My lower back...it makes sense. This is the first chakra area, and I am certainly feeling unstable, uncertain, wobbly, out of control.
Out of control. That is the big one. As if we ever are in control...
It seems as though I take one Big Step and then I am asked to take ten more.
My voice that likes to yell, "Stay small! It's safe!" is at it again. It is whining up a Whiny Storm of grand proportions.
And in all of this, I sit and wait, knowing it will pass, but in the meantime, I am so damn uncomfortable. I want to scream, "STOP!" and listen to the Whiny Chorus and do as they say.
I keep getting back to, "Isn't it Big Enough to open a studio, to have a space, but now I have to open my mind to Ideas about the space that are different and much bigger and more challenging!?"
But yes is my word.